I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
