It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
