so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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