just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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