I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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