At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
