I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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