What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
