Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
where are you?
Hypothermia
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
