Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
