Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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