Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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