We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
