you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize