GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
