What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
