Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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