it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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