Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
