Dual....:-)
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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