sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
