im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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