She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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