just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Shame is for Republicans.
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