There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
