no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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