"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
