people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
