after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
