can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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