I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
