I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
