it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
