I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
