I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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