OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
