White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize