It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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