bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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