You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
