And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
