WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
