How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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