dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
