I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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