we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
