i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize