I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
