Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
