we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
