we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
