So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
