found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
