Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
