before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
