haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The beer is more important than you right now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
