I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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