from now on my penis is your penis
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
