I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize